Relationships & Epilepsy
People ask me all the time as to why I haven't been in a real legit relationship in almost 4 years. Its because in this generation its hard to find someone who come off as a man. There are tons of boys who attempt to talk to me, but I haven't really met anyone (yet) who seems like they can handle the reality of being in a relationship with someone who has epilepsy.
Before I go any further...let me just say, I'm okay right now being by myself. I have the best family and great friends who are always there for me. Would it it be nice to have someone to cuddle with every night...year sure. But is it needed? No. I have learned "how to be single" and I'm okay with it.
When I say that I haven't really met anyone who seems like they can handle the reality of being in a relationship with someone who has epilepsy does not mean that someone who has epilepsy cannot be in a relationship. We, as epileptics just need a little bit more help and have to depend on people.
The guys that message me are usually only looking for 1 thing...I'm not even gonna say what it is because if you don't guess right away, then think for a couple more seconds...I'm sure it will come to you. As someone who will be turning 28 in less than 2 weeks...that 1 thing isn't good enough for me. Its not even really that important as it is to other things...still important but other things especially nowadays trump that 1 thing.
There have been situations where my epilepsy has been an issue for guys aka "boys". It scares them, which to some point is understandable BUT that shouldn't be a deal breaker. I has also been a huge issue because I can't drive and who knows when I will be able to again. Once I tell someone about my disability that I am starting to have feelings for, their reaction to it is a deal breaker for me. For example for someone I wouldn't talk to anymore and their reaction is; "so does that mean that you have seizures when you have an orgasm" or "does that mean you can't have sex" or "so you're like....handicapped?" or "um thats like seizures and theres a chance you could die right?" or "yea so I'm not really looking for a relationship or anything serious" (when they were 5 minutes before I told them)....yes these are all reactions I have gotten to the news of my epilepsy. Most of the reactions I get from boys are either something along those lines or I get ghosted...which for those who don't know what ghosted means...it means they are cowards and don't respond anymore. It's reasons like these as to why I'm a-okay being single.
The hardest part of finding someone who can handle someone with epilepsy is finding someone you can depend on. Someone who doesn't care about your epilepsy and will be there for you and look at you the way they would with someone who doesn't have it. Someone who looks at you like you are perfect in every way and wouldn't change anything about you. Someone who wants to learn about what to do God forbid something would happen to you. But besides all of those things...the main and probably the most important is to find someone you trust with literally everything. You know that trust fall exercise? Well its basically finding someone who will always catch you when you fall...literally and figuratively. Someone who does all of those things for you and make you feel that way...that's what a man is and in this generation finding someone like that is like finding a needle in a damn haystack.
Relationships are hard, and so is having epilepsy...put those 2 together and date a boy....you guys won't make it, trust me I've been there, done that the stress is not worth it in the slightest bit.